Wow. Wowie Wow Wow

(Christopher Walken on SNL; check it out if you don’t know; too funny)

You know when they (I) say “Both/And”? That life is both this, and that. It is inimitable and gripping, and sallow and challenging? That life is “everything all at once”?

That you are both excited for your new callback and getting dressed to get a possible melanoma removed?

Yeah. Both/And.

So, that’s happening right now. In a little while.

I went to the dermatologist about a month ago to get a strange new mole checked out on my back. She told me that that one was nothing to worry about; that, in fact, it’s the kind of mole you only see on fully adult homosapiens. So, I asked, then basically, this new mole is a Rite of Passage Mole? That I’m officially an adult human, now? Wow. Weird to have your skin tell you it!

You, Molly Louise, you are now officially an adult. Instead of a parade, statue, medal, or email from the Universe, you get this nifty little mole on your back. Holler!!! Luckily, I think it’s kind of awesome and funny, and I’m really not concerned about the aesthetics of it – it’s not gross or repulsive or anything. It doesn’t have a satellite moon orbiting it or have a hair growing from it. – although the Derm said that a hair is usually a good sign that a mole is not malignant.

(It’s this an awesome blog topic!)

"BUT," she said. …

"This other one…" and took out the little 6-inch ruler she kept in her white lab coat. "Well, this other one, …"

Yeah, that one’s kind of new too, in the last year for sure, I told her.

So, today I have it taken out. Which means, they have to dig all the way through ALL of the layers of skin into the fatty flesh below, and take out, like a dowel in the earth, a cylinder of my skin. Yum.

It’s a small thing, it’ll only leave a centimeter of a scar, but for a few days, until the stitched, sewn-together skin around it heals and seals together (our bodies are amazing), no heavy lifting or working out the same way.

Meh. C’est la vie. Small price to pay for solace of mind.

Although, when I told someone when I found this out those few weeks ago, that it was a possible skin cancer thing, they said, oh, no big deal, that’s simple, they gauge it out. Done. … Well, I felt like that was a tad insensitive. I mean, this was coming from another young cancer survivor!

I’m not “worrying twice,” and it is something you just take out (I think – I don’t know – I’m not Googling anything until the doc indicates I ought to). But, it’s still a (what’s “less than worrying”) – Ah, concerning, it’s still a concerning thing. So, I’m concerned. So I get it checked out.

I think my Rite-of-Passage Mole might be on to something.

And, further in the Wow category, this acting thing. Wowie wow wow, man.

It’s so fun. Sure, I talk about the isolation it offers when you’re practicing lines alone, auditioning alone, but, the camaraderie that it leads to, is the point. The opportunity to turn the light on in an audience, to share something with someone else, is the point. And this is the path to that.

I’m stoked.

I have no clue if this is beginner’s luck, if anything more will happen, if I’ll circle around the drain of “aspiring actor” for years. But, SO WHAT.

When I think back to what it felt like on Saturday to join into the lobby of a group of folks, stand around awkwardly in a room with other aspirers, to have my name called, and to walk down the dark aisle of the near-empty theater. To stand on a real stage under real lights, state my name and my piece, and perform it. To have the director say, “Very nice. Thank you.” To then walk back up that aisle less than two minutes later, and gather my purse and walk back out into the amazing Berkeley Spring day?

Well, I’ll tell you:

Wow.