Focus, Hippie Style.

Hi Lovelies. I’m going to make this quick, as it’s my last few moments of freedom before we start with procedures and chemo today.

But, that said, I’m doing ok. I slept really well (here at Hotel Kaiser), and am feeling optimistic, though scared – which I think is likely the most normal thing in the world.

What I’ll ask of you, if you please, is if you could concentrate on my maintaining the health of as many systems as possible as I undergo this treatment. My throat became really bad last time from the chemo, making it impossible to eat anything but Boost and Ensure shakes, and I'm too young for that, so maybe you want to focus on the health of my esophagus.

Maybe you want to focus on the chemo attacking the hidden cancer cells.

Maybe you want to focus on my heart, beating soothing, healing patterns into my body. Maybe you want to focus on my mind, sending out into myself thoughts of health, love, and recovery. Maybe you’ll focus on my reproductive organs (don’t be gross), as these procedures may make me infertile.

Maybe you just want to focus on all of me, surrounded by white, healing light. Allowing the drugs to do what they’re supposed to, and leaving the rest of me intact. Maybe you want to focus on my future, on when I’m healthy, taking that flight lesson, painting that canvas, performing that poem, throwing that frisbee on a beach. Waiting for a bus, even. 

And most of all, maybe you just want to focus your beam of love straight into me, where it will do whatever is most needed of it. 

And my thanks is to let it.