The Good News

The good news is that I’m alive, so I can accomplish all the things I’d like to. In order, and in “the Universe’s” time.

Here is a list of creative projects and endeavors I’m involved in at the moment:

• Playing Bass in a band in SF 
• Memorizing and practicing audition pieces
• Looking up and applying to new casting calls
• Sourcing a photographer for a new headshot
• Submitting myself to modeling agencies
• Writing new songs
• Forming a new band in the East Bay
• Practicing jazz and blues standards with the keyboardist from the first band, in order to busk in BART stations (ostensibly eventually in actual lounges)
• Sourcing a voice teacher
• Taking an acting class
• Writing my blog

Here is a list of creative projects and endeavors that I have on back burners:

• Actually practicing the bass 
• Learning the piano
• Writing and developing my musical about race
• Painting! (and sourcing an art studio -- don't do oils in your kitchen, kids)
• Developing a “home organizing” on-the-side business
• Gardening (learning to)
• Learning to sew
• Re-developing my creativity workshop
• Reorganizing my closet (yes, that’s creative!) 
• Fixing the brakes on my bike and learning to ride again.

Not to mention the commitments I have outside of my regular work hours, including some personal inventory writing that I’ve been stuck on for months. Plus the daily things we all need to do, like eat, shower, grocery shop, cook food, spend time with my neglected cat. Let's throw in “dating,” just to make it a maelstrom.

So… I’m tired.

And I sometimes try to counter this fatigue by watching several hours of Netflix when I come home, which means that all of the above things get pushed back and I feel even more crunched and overwhelmed.

So, today, I’m meeting with two friends to talk about my priorities. I know I wrote about this earlier this week or last, and now I’m putting action to it. I have no idea how to juggle it all, and so balls get dropped, and things important to me get shuffled down the calendar like a shuffle-board puck. Clean cups move down no room at the inn tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Veysmer.

Because SOME of these things are meant to be focused on NOW. And some are allowed to be worked on later.

Someone once told me I can’t do everything, and I nearly lost it. She clarified and said, “You can’t do everything all at once.” Phew, okay.

I WANT to do it all. But, am I meant to? Who knows. I do know that I’m not meant to do it all at once.

It’s like shoving a spoonful of every part of your meal into your mouth at once. It doesn’t work, and you end up choking on a chocolate chip with gravy on your shirt.

BUT, if I take a bite in order and with precision, focus, and priority, then I have a chance of not only enjoying the meal of life, savoring what’s happening, and appreciating the company I keep, but this order and priority will allow me to digest it all slowly enough to create room for dessert. And by dessert, I mean sex.