Progress, Not Perfection...

When I have clarity of vision, pretty amazing things tend to happen.

About 2 years ago, when working my way through the Calling in The One book, I decided it was time to get that 2nd bedside table to “energetically” be more inviting to a partner. The one I had on my side is sort of shabby/chic, wooden, painted white, with a little storage and soft, almost country structure. Very soon thereafter, I wandered into a garage sale down the block – and wouldn’t you know, there is the perfectly complementary bedside table – different shape, but same country feel, wooden, painted white, same height too.

Over last summer, I decided it was time to upgrade my ever-chipping, ever-depleting plateware and bowl collection. I had one bowl left. And a stack of gray, unappealing plates that I'd bought for cheap thinking they’d be “sleek,” but were instead just… gray. Very soon thereafter, I was in Cole Valley, waiting for my band to play at the street fair, and lo, there was a stack of multicolored, almost Fiesta ware bowls and a stack of bright blue plates to go with them—for free.

Within the last two months, a man was crossing the street in front of my car as I drove home from work. He was dressed “smartly,” wearing a sweater over a button-down shirt, well-fitting jeans, and real shoes, not sneakers. I said to myself, I want someone who wears clothes like that. (Though, sure, I would have barfed at such a preppy [pulled-together??] look in the past.)  This wasn’t the first time I’d thought that, as I noticed men milling about the world recently. And, you guessed it, very soon thereafter, I met this new boy, who wears smart clothing, fitting the above description to a T.

So, point? Well, my coworker would smirk at my “manifest-y” meanderings, but my point is more that when I have a vision of what I want, more often than not (and so often with housewares!), I get it very quickly and with much ease.

I took a personality test about a year ago, the Meyers-Briggs, with a friend who actually processes these tests for a living. Part of the reason for my wanting to do this type of test was to find out what I “should do” with my life—if there were places and arenas in the world that would benefit most from the assets I already have, the things that come easy to me. And wouldn’t you know, for “appropriate jobs,” my particular personality type listed all kinds of artsy things (writer, painter, actor), also counselor and clergy, all of which I’ve contemplated in the past.

What it also told me about me about my “type” were the pitfalls, and how to counter them. How to counter idealistic, magpie, not detail-oriented leanings? 

“Focus, Prioritize, Follow-through.”

Eesh. Yuck.

But, see all my above Manifesty moments? These were ALL born of something called “focus.” I had clarity. I knew what I wanted, and made myself open to receive it by participating in the world.

One of the final meditations at my annual meditation retreat in Napa a few years ago left me with the following directive: Use Your Time Efficiently.

I’ve been SO F*ING BUSY, it feels. I’m doing and going and participating, but I’m not focused or prioritized, so I don’t get done the things I really want to do; I don’t move forward in those places.

Be it career advancement, monologue learning, song writing. Gardening.

There are areas in my life I want to deepen. I want to strengthen the roots of these priorities. I want to make forward motion with them. Which means, I want to make time for them, real, expansive, focused, invested time.

Running hither and thither is great. My life is FULL. So freaking full, I don’t know my ass (non-essentials) from my elbow (essentials), and, as example, I spent way more money on take-out food this month, since I haven’t had any time for food shopping and cooking—something which actually does feed me, in all the ways.

Focus. Prioritize. Follow-through.

If they came naturally to me, I would have honed them already. They don’t. A personality test, and 32 years of knowing my own personality have proven that these are not inherent.

However, if I want to live the life that is more about quality than quantity, I need to (strike that!) – I would like to encourage myself in learning how to do this. I know it’s possible. My free amazing couch that I sit on right now is proof of vision equaling results. But, in order to even have time to let the dust settle in the glass, I have to sit still, listen closely, be open to asking for help in how on earth one "focuses, prioritizes, and follows-through," and most of all, allow myself progress, not perfection.