Movie Wisdom.

In the movie Perks of Being a Wallflower, the main character asks his English teacher why good people go for bad people, romantically. He replies sagely, “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

This line is later repeated by the main character, so you know the writer thought it important enough, this nugget of truth, to repeat, to imprint indelibly in my mind, at least.

I’ve been thinking about this line, and think we can extrapolate the concept to just about anything.

We accept the love we think we deserve.

The dishes we think we deserve (mine were almost all chipped 'til recently).

The job we think we deserve.

The friends we think we deserve.

The excitement we think we deserve.

The handsoap we think we deserve.

We accept the car we think we deserve.

The commute we think we deserve.

The cleanliness we think we deserve.

The responsibility we think we deserve.

We accept the family we think we deserve (if you can stick with that one).

We accept the time for art we think we deserve.

The space for art we think we deserve.

We accept the salary we think we deserve.

The savings we think we deserve.

The books we think we deserve.

How are these all in your life? How are they in mine?

We accept the vacations we think we deserve.

Because in the absence or meagerness of these things, mantra becomes, “Better off that I don’t have…”

Better off I don’t have love, responsibility, savings, friendships, vacations, persistence, self-esteem.

Better off that I don’t have clean dishes, organized closet, pens that work.

Better off, leave me here, I don’t need, I’m not worth, Don’t bother, won’t help, leave me be, leave me alone. Leave me alone. Better off alone.

Better off not trying. Better off not risking. Better off not having. Better off not laughing. Better off not exploring. Better off not acquiring. Better off not enjoying. Better off not living.

We accept the life we think we deserve.

The problem arising is that the distance between what I have thought I deserve and what I think I deserve now is becoming great enough to cause discomfort. And the discomfort is becoming great enough to cause a challenge to former ideas. And the challenge to former ideas is becoming great enough to cause action.

At least, that’s the idea.

The life I think I deserve is changing. To what, I don’t know.