The Art of Progress.

In considering ways to accrue and earn funds, I read that I should make a list of things that I could sell, but not anything associated with hobbies. It’s a good thing that was written there, because at first, I immediately go, well, I guess I can sell my bass amp. Which I’ve been lugging around for 5 years, and the bass guitar for … gosh, since college, almost 10 years. The bass which I do not know how to play – not really. I fuck around with it, sometimes even plug it in (which make my insides all joyfully trembly), and I have this bass riff that I enjoy to play that I made up. But, I don’t know any songs or the scales (yet).

So, luckily it was written not to sell hobby things, because I have a lot of such hobby items I’d start to list, like putting my disowned children on the chopping block.

Then, in another book, the author told the story of a man, an artist, who had several paintings around his home with a woman turned away from the viewer. The person visiting his home said, I think you may have trouble in your love life. The artist was shocked – yes, he did indeed. And she pointed out that all these paintings, which he had made, were of women turning away from him. And through her suggestions, he painted different, new paintings – at first with multiple women in them together with a man(!), and later, of just one man and one woman. Guess what happened.

So, I look at the art piece I have above my bed – 7 paintings of women, the central one of a man kissing a woman, and she’s looking out at the viewer. The others are all obscured, obstructed, partial views of women. As if you can never see, or have, all of her. Just these parts you have to put together yourself in your mind. Sexy though they may be to me, I’m very reminded of the above story of the artist.

This art piece reflects detachment, a “you can’t have all of me” just the parts I choose to show you. I think it’s interesting to think on it this way. As that’s certainly my M.O. in love and relationships. Particularly around sex – I’ll give you my body, but like the woman looking away from her lover and toward the camera, I won’t give you my self, my attention, my all.

Therefore, it occurs to me, that perhaps it is time to let this piece go. It represents a way of being that I want to move away from, and perhaps… though I am terrified to begin the process – perhaps someone else might want it – Might want to buy it.

Now, I realize this moment, that I ought not sell it to someone who’s read this blog! G-d forbid I hand another person a scene of loneliness! – but that’s my association. Other people have said, sensual and really good and creative.

I’d written previously about my reluctance to sell my art, art that means something to me – particularly one piece I sold very quickly without much thought to its importance to me, or to a price that would honor that importance. But, this feels like I’m doing the work to let this one go. That I am prepared and preparing to allow this piece of me to go out into the world.

There’s a café around the corner from me with a sign by the cash register: “Are you an artist? Then you should show here!” or something like that. I think I’ll ask them what they think. 

"Find Me - Take Me". Watercolor&mixed media. Nov '12.

Asking Price $1500.00