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Friday, April 5, 2013

From Velveeta to Bone Stew: A Bi-Coastal Tale


My mom was in town from New York last weekend, and I took her to this cute row of stores called Temescal Alley, that if you didn’t know was there, you wouldn't know was there.

In this alley is an apothecary, which I didn't exactly know what that meant, but apparently, here, it means lots of loose tea ingredients and medicinal, herbal items. Including … a Hot Sex jar of honey for my mom (hey, she ain’t dead! And I’m sure her boyfriend will appreciate it!) and a vial of liquidized, immune-boosting mushrooms for me. … Not quite as “hot” as the Hot Sex honey.

The whole fact of all this is funny to me. The owner talked with us for a while on the benefits of bone marrow stock, how to make it, by slow cooking a bone for 72 hours, and I listened raptly… I have become more Californiafied than I ever thought I would.

Though certainly some of my bending my ear to these whispers of magic mushrooms of a very different stripe than I’m used to is the cancer stuff.

Things change after cancer.

Particularly, I’m noticing, my threshold for my own bullshit. Or, to put it a wee bit more compassionately, my tolerance for my own reticence, fear, and stagnation has decreased rapidly.

It’s my first week back to work. I haven’t sat in a chair in front of a computer screen for entire days in 6 months. (Perhaps I’ve lain on a couch in front of a computer playing DVDs for entire days, but I digress.) I did not face and fight death to be a secretary. I just didn’t. It’s where I am right now, but it’s up to me and only me to change that.

I was telling a friend this week about some of my (same old, same old) frustrations about working this (or any) secretary job, and she gave me the same shtick most people do: see it as an opportunity for service, see it as a chance to do good, what can I give rather than what can I get. Yes. But that’s not the whole story, not by a lot, for me.

My friend has a mission statement for herself that goes something like this: “To use my gifts and talents to be of maximum service to those around me.” The only gift or talent I get to use at this job is my personality. Which is fine. But it’s not nearly enough. Data entry, running reports, updating computer filing systems … a monkey could do my job.

This is not a use of my gifts and talents.

So, it’s up to me to use them, eh? It’s up to me to find ways to use them, perhaps for now, extra-curricularly. I finally emailed back the photographer who offered me headshots when I put out the wish in December, and my hair has grown back long enough to be pixie-ish cute, and so it’s time to move forward with that. I emailed my friend whose husband is a pilot, and who’d offered to give me flying lessons. I reached out to my defunct writing group, and we're back on the books for this month.

I ‘ m s t i l l d r a g g i n g my feet a little about the singing with the band stuff. But, I’m coming up to it.  I must. 

I did not fight death to be a secretary. I am not eating marrow soup, taking a supplement called Liverplex, eschewing sugar, or flossing in order to be a secretary.

It is a noble place to work at least, and yes, work is work; there is always something that brightens my day about it – be that the kids coming in all nervous for their first pre-Bar Mitzvah meeting with the rabbi, or the Nursery school kids hiding shyly in their mothers’ pant-legs as I wave goodbye to them, or sneaking into the sanctuary for 5 minutes to play the piano in warm peace. I’m not a line cook, I’m not a prostitute, I’m not a field hand. My job is not bad.

It’s just not me.

Therefore, it’s up to me to change, not my job. 

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