Remember What The Redwood Told You.

So, my writing group approves of the poems I want to read at next Thursday’s poetry reading (event found here!). Yes, explicit, they said, but that’s not the focus or the point of it. Precisely.

So, I guess I’m going to be reading these poems! I shared with them my fear of reading these, and then coming to sit down back with everyone else, feeling hella awkward, but, in another way too, it’s just my art. It’s not necessarily “who I am,” it’s just how I chose to express myself. I don’t have to be as tied into its reception.

Speaking of “reception,” I’ve been offered a receptionist position. Now, before we go peeing ourselves with glee, I’m going on my 2^nd interview this morning for a job I really do want, rather than the receptionist, which, I will, potentially/likely take, should this job not come through. But, I don’t … well, I don’t really want it. I suppose at this point “any” job is worth doing and having, but … man, my poor ego.

And more than that, my poor wallet. There’s a marked difference in pay between these two positions. I also have an interview on Friday morning with an SF museum, but it’s for a short-term gig for less than the receptionist pay. So, although, for the love of Jehovah, I’d LOVE to work at this SF museum … it’s not quite right either. I don’t want to come up in 9 months, and be right back here again, having already had to live meagerly for 9 months – and there’s no guarantee that I’d be shifted to another position within the company.

So – PRAY FOR ME, to get this job this morning that I want. *and would be good at*

I’ll still be meeting this afternoon with the receptionist place, to talk about start date, salary, benefits. I mean, those words alone make me tingly inside. But I also know the kind of internal work that I’ve been doing to bust out of this job bracket – and it feels a little – a lot – like moving backward. Receptionist.

I did ask them if there was room for growth in this position, and he said, well, honestly, it’s limited, but there could be. Farkle.

I’m not making any hard and fast commitments for or against anything. I’m too atwitter with excitement about the job interview this morning, and already feeling a time crunch to get ready and get out the door.

But, some morning pages, though I admit, not the full ones, and some blogging, though perhaps not the full thousand or so words.

I couldn’t fall asleep well last night either. I couldn’t tell if it was nerves or the green tea I had in the afternoon.

What I can tell you is that after I went to my writing group, I came home and started to work on a broadside of one of my poems. A broadside is basically like a print of a poem, large, like a small poster of it. It’s artistic, and has maybe some colors or images. I don’t have a printing press, so I had to figure it all out by hand, and I loved it. I had to count the lines in my poem, divide it into the space on the paper I had, line the paper in the infinitesmal increments for spacing, and then write the whole thing in. But, I like it.

It’s a first/rough draft. I want to use different paint, as the paper I have isn’t that great, but I don’t want to buy more. I intend to try to sell some of them at next week’s reading.

But, I’ll tell you. I had a great time with it. Counting the number of letters in the longest lines of my poem to figure out how wide the lettering should be. Practicing the handwriting. And, in the end, seeing that it sort of does just look like a homemade project ;) But, I intend to do a little better job on the next ones, practicing the painting part, so they don’t obscure the writing.

Anyway, I’ve got to run, wish me luck of the Irish!

p.s., I found 26cents yesterday ;)